Dummy of the Week: Kim Jong-un

For a lot of you that have known me for a long time know that I am not a person who follows politics. I have also ended my personal ban on political post for one special person, Kim Jong-un. I firmly believe that he got hopped up on Mountain Dew one night while watching the new Red Dawn and suddenly thought it would be a great idea to throw out some big time threats towards the United States. Looks like someone got caught thinking that Red Dawn could ever fucking happen. It is hard to believe that he thinks North Korea can roll with the big dogs when they can't even put food in the mouths of the majority of the people in their country. He should start focusing on saving his people instead of worrying about potentially shooting nuclear weapons at everyone. It is such a hollow threat that it is becoming a fucking joke. North Korea has burned every possible relationship that they had once had, when China supported the sanctions on them is when it spelled doom for them.

I absolutely have no desire to see another war break out between North and South Korea, but if it did it would be one short war. DPRK (Democratic People's Republic of Korea AKA North Korea) would receive nothing in terms of support and have no real means of obtaining anything to help themselves in a prolonged conflict. It would be one of the most embarrassing things to be witnessed by the world. The baby faced piece of shit leader of the craziest country on Earth better smarten up or his country is going to get curb stomped. I don;t think many countries would feel anything when they see that country burn to the ground and it would all be because Kim Jong-un thinks he is a god. Is it weird that I hope he gets killed in public, so the world can witness it? It might be fucked up to say, but its what I feel. This dummy should stay in his room and jerk off to Red Dawn and leave the world alone.

My final message for Kim Jong-un is this, go suck a bag of dicks you mouth breathing dummy.

The Walking Dead- “Arrow on the Doorpost”

Another week, another great opening sequence.  Not knowing what Rick, Daryl and Hershel are looking for is a wonderful build up to finally see The Governor come and say to Rick, “ We've got a lot to talk about.”  The quiet tension of the quick scene set up a fantastic episode.The episode is one long negotiation between Rick and The Governor with small look-ins to the other characters.  Let’s look at the meeting between our two main characters.  The Governor tries to get Rick to a sense of calm by saying no weapons are needed, but of course as per the usual, The Governor has one hiding.  Guns don’t come into play between them, but the tension is always there for it to happen at any moment.  Andrea comes in fairly early to the negotiations and we learn that she set everything up.  It was very predictable that she would be the one to set it all up, and it was nice that she was kicked out rather quickly from the talk so the two of them could continue.  She could have only made a tense situation worse.  She doesn't belong in the talks.  More on her later though.

The back and forth between the two of them the remainder of the episode was for the most part great.  Rick coming right out of the gates with an idea for peace: splitting the land up.  This seemed like a good solution, but of course The Governor just wants a full surrender.  He has an ego he needs continue to booster and this would only look like a loss.  The Governor’s tale of his wife’s fate was a nice look into what could have started the beginning of his darker side to come out was great.  The Governor also revealing he knows of Rick’s run to get guns and get prepared for a war was a nice piece of information to try and get Rick to surrender was another sly move to try and win this discussion.  Nothing seemed to faze Rick until The Governor told him all he wants is Michonne and everyone else stays safe.  This was on Rick’s mind for the remainder of the episode.  His talk with Hershel at the end was a nice look into how far Michonne has come into the group and how hard it is for Rick to still lead this group of people he now calls a family.

Onto Andrea and her relentless quest of becoming the most hated character in television.  The writers just do not want to help her out.  Having her being the one to set up the meeting was predictable.  Then continuously asking for peace between the two is also just so hard to watch.  How she could still root for The Governor at all is beyond me.  Her talk with Hershel was good because she realizes that she cannot keep going back to Woodbury, but still she leaves with them as the episode ends.  The whole season screams for a redemption arc for the character, but can we get to it already.  I’m tired of the show screwing this up.
The dynamic between Hershel and Milton, as well as Daryl and Martinez were nice.  Some human emotion is good every now and then for this show.  Milton writing everything down because all of this is going to be history one day was great in my opinion.  Someone at least is hoping that there will be a future where all of this is going to be read by people like we read of history now.  Someone’s got to do it, right?  His and Hershel’s joking around was nice to see.  Also the “who can kill a zombie better” game between Daryl and Martinez was funny.  Some great kills in this short sequence.  What followed was a short conversation by the two “enforcers” of the factions knowing full well that they could work well together, but in the end that war will come and they will have to face off against one another.

Finally the few scenes in the jail were a good distraction from the meeting of Rick and The Governor.  Merle knowing that The Governor should be taken out if the chance is given and trying to get the group to realize that is nice.  No one listens, but Merle is the only one talking sense here for once.  Glenn and Maggie finally getting back together was good to see too.  I don’t think Maggie is completely over what happened in Woodbury, but this is a start.  Glenn is slowly being turned into a leader when Rick isn't around, and he wears it nicely.

This episode was all about the emotions that everyone is feeling, as well the choices they make based on those emotions.  War is coming and this was a good episode to set it all up.  There are only a few episodes left, but I think this season is going to end perfectly.  There are going to be some surprising deaths, hopefully some good zombie killing, and god willing, Andrea will kill The Governor, and maybe die in the process so the writers are released from their hatred of this character.

Dead Man Down

The first three months of the year are clearly turning into movie studio’s dumping grounds for movies that they have no idea what to do with. 99% of movies released within this time frame should probably have been released straight to DVD but you need to put something in the theaters. Dead Man Down happens to have fallen into the category of being a “dump movie”. It looks like no one knew what to do with this movie.

Dead Man Down follows the revenge driven lives of Victor (Colin Farrell) and Beatrice (Noomi Repace). Victor is seeking to kill his boss, Alphonse (Terrance Howard) that ruined his once happy life Beatrice seeks retribution for being permanently scarred in a car crash. They are each looking to become whole again and their journeys inevitably collide with explosive and deadly results.  

Colin Farrell and Noomi Repace are the lynchpins of the entire movie, without their performances it would turn into a horrible mess. I am so pumped that Farrell has finally decided to start trying over the past few years, after seeing him I such debacles as Pride and Glory and Miami Vice. Repace is excellent as usual and continues to prove that she can be a major force in Hollywood for the foreseeable future. I also wanted to say that no matter how ugly they tried to make her look in the movie, she still came out looking sexy.

The action scenes are pretty intense and realistic which is always a great thing. I loved the fact that Farrell wasn't portrayed as a one man army, and he needed to be planning ahead of his targets to even have a chance of being successful.  Niels Oplev proved that his success as a director was not only limited to the original The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It is going to be interesting to see what he will be able to do with a well written script in the future.

As good as the two leading performances in this movie were, the secondary performances were incredibly weak and poorly written. Terrance Howard was there to get a check and he never seemed like he was fully invested in his character, he came off a bit wooden in every scene that he was in. Dominic Cooper shows up and plays a “cartoonish” up and coming gangster, whose storyline was flat from the very beginning of the movie.

The screenwriter of this movie must have gone to the George Lucas School for Dialogue because it was on about the same level as the Star Wars prequels. Repace and Farrell did a great job with what they were given but the other actors didn’t step their game up to compensate for the shit quality of the dialogue. With a better screenplay, this movie could have been very good, but it ended up getting dumped in an early March release date against Oz the Great & Powerful.

This is an above average revenge movie that got very good performances from its two lead actors. Check it out if you are looking for a more adult oriented movie as opposed to the new Oz movie that just released from Disney.  

Age of Ultron: Book One

Just going to throw a quick review up for the first issue of Age of Ultron. This is one of the first comics to come along in some time that is worth really discussing. Brian Michael Bendis has created some of the most memorable events in Marvel history but this is shaping up to be the biggest of them all. We get a glimpse into a world of what it would be like if the villains really won and their only goal was to wipe out every living organism on the planet. Ultron is is terrifying in the respect that he has no emotions and is willing to eradicate everything, no questions asked.

This issue focuses on Hawkeye's desperate attempt to rescue Spider-Man, who has been taken hostage by a group of criminals. There is no introduction to what has happened, we are simply thrown into the situation. And for those of you thinking this is a bad thing you would be wrong, it is fucking awesome. We get to see a much more hardened version of Hawkeye that has no qualms about killing people who pose a threat to him. He is written very similar to Ultimate Hawkeye, who was written by Mark Millar. He kills at least 5-6 people before he gets to Spider-Man (Superior version). Spider-Man has just been brutalized and we see that the strongest of heroes can fall when we hear that Thor is no longer able to "help". We later get a glimpse of the resistance which consists of Iron Man, She-Hulk, Luke Cage, Wolverine, Emma Frost, Beast, and Captain America. They are willing to throw Hawkeye out simply because he refused to leave Spider-Man to rot. It is a stark contrast to the Marvel Universe we are used to where no one is left behind.

I have a few theories about what is going to happen during the event and I'll talk about them at length at another time. I will however talk about the art in this book. Holy Shit, Bryan Hitch has definitely gotten better over time. This is some of the most polished his visuals have ever been. A lot of people are complaining about the blur effect but it works perfectly with what is going on in the scene. He needs to be on a monthly book at this point. The only way for him to effectively do it is to draw everything six months in advance because he is one of the slower artists in the industry. If they could get a good timetable for him he would become a legend in the industry.

I am behind this event 100% and I have faith that is only going to get better from this point forward. This is a fantastic opening issue and every comic fan should be looking to pick this up as soon as possible. Don't wait too long, issue two comes out next Wednesday.

The Following- "Let Me Go"

To be perfectly honest, at this point I have no clue where this show is going to go in terms of story. I am perfectly fine with that because I want to keep guessing and be surprised at the insane twists and turns the series has to offer. We had Joe break out of prison, Ryan about to choke and bitch slap the warden of the prison and we even got little Joey being a hero. The shift in tone from dark and gloomy to just insanity is awesome and opens up an endless amount of possibilities for this show.

We all knew that Joe Carroll wasn't going to be staying in prison for the duration of the season. As soon as I heard that he was going to be transferred, it spelled the end of his time behind bars. I love that we finally got to see an unleashed version of Joe, who has no intention of going back to prison. James Purefoy is creating one of the most menacing characters in television history and we are only in the first half of season one of the show. Carroll never flinches, even when his plan is obviously not going his way but he always seems to get help out of nowhere from some pretty generic "followers". The lady with the straight razor was a bit over the top, even for this over the top series.

It is starting to shape up that Carroll handles the group of "followers" (killers) and Roderick is handling the "militant" section of the cult. What I mean by that is the people who are not serial killers or there to die for Joe but are connected to the various government agencies so they can protect the cult. Just a new theory for the show. This is going to be interesting when we actually get to meet Roderick and see what his motives are for helping Carroll. The reach of this group is astounding and it wouldn't surprise me if the President of the United States is a "follower" at this point.

Ryan needs to be more like he was in last week's episode, using his smarts and believing in his training. When he is on a role he is pretty much unstoppable because he gets in people's heads and just fucks with them, like he did with Paul and Jacob. Speaking of Paul and Jacob, has Paul bled out yet? Dude got stabbed like 5 times in the stomach and is in some serious trouble. Ryan  needs to stop acting like a little pussy when around Claire and he needs to start trying to get in front of the cult's plans so he can catch them before they do some more fucked up stuff.

I do love where this show is going but they do need to start having the police and FBI agents in this show act with some type of logic. The dumber they get, the more it is going to detract from the fun of the show. Other than some gaps in logic, this was a solid episode and I can't wait to see where the show goes over the next two months.

The Walking Dead- “Clear”

I would first like to say that I love The Walking Dead.  I have read the comics and watched the series so far.  I love that they are different, but at the same time I get angry at some of the choices the television show makes.  I just wanted this out there before the review.

This week was one of the better episodes in a long time.  Everything about it worked.  From the great short opening sequence to an old character returning to a nice pairing that I wouldn't have thought would work at first.  Spoilers follow for those who want to continue. The opening sequence gave us insight into how much Rick has decided it is us against everyone else.  Right from the get go, you could tell by how Michonne and Carl were being focused on in the car ride that this was going to be a big episode for them.  Also the little bit of zombie tension was nice to see as well.   This scene only made me wish there was more of a budget so we could see some more zombie deaths, but hopefully the budget will be wisely used later in the season.Rick, Carl, and Michonne got to their destination, which was the town that that Rick, Lori, and Carl were living in before the zombie apocalypse occurred.  Their main purpose of being there was to get all of the weapons from the police station that Rick had left behind.   They did a great job of making the town into a post apocalyptic waste land.  From here the episode really took shape.  Our group was yelled at and then shot at by a masked man.  Carl, who has really grown up this season, was the one to take this masked man down, not killing him, but knocking him out.  The reveal of Morgan, the man who saved Rick’s life in the pilot episode, was a great call back.

There were really two stories here this week. One was Carl and Michonne growing as characters, while the other was Rick and Morgan talking about what has been going on and trying to move forward from it.  Let’s focus on Carl and Michonne first. Carl and Michonne teaming up is great.  It gives Michonne a chance to be trusted in Rick’s eyes, and hopefully he’ll be able to accept her as a friend finally.  Carl is not yet the badass he thinks he is and should listen to those who want to help him.  Finally Michonne gets through to Carl and they go about helping one another through the café, where Carl is getting something to bring back home. She was really brought to life in this episode.  Fans have been angry with just seeing her chopping zombie heads off and just being a general badass.  They want to see the wise cracking Michonne.  They want to see the relatable Michonne.  I hope this is a turn for this character.  Carl is also someone who has become a bit better after this episode.  He finally accepted he can’t do everything on his own, but also, with a word from Morgan, sees that if he has to pull a trigger, he should just do it without feeling bad about it.

Morgan showing up at all was a great surprise.  He has obviously been having a hard time since we saw him last.  Michonne is a great voice of reason when we first meet Morgan, but Rick’s heart is just too big and stupid sometimes for his own good, which is shown as soon as Morgan wakes up and tries to kill Rick.  We learn, through one of the best speeches given in this season that Morgan’s wife, whom he should have killed, since she was a zombie, ended up killing his son.  Rick ends up offering Morgan a spot in the jail, but Morgan unfortunately declines.  I wish Morgan would have become a regular on the show, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be.  Rick gives one of his better speeches to Morgan to try and convince him to come.  The scenes between these two are some of the best of the season so far.

Overall this season has been giving us better material then last season, but this episode is really a high point so far.  There was some great character development and one good unfinished plot tied up nicely.  The drive away from the town gave me some hope going forward that the characters will keep the new traits they have acquired this episode and finish up this season strong.


Bryan Lasky

Dummy of the Week: Michael Bay

I get the fact that Michael Bay is an "action movie" director and he shoots his movies like glorified music videos. I accept that he ruins greats concepts with poor execution, but I cannot stand by and see him destroy a classic movie franchise from my childhood. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a classic comic series that was made into an equally awesome movie franchise. The first two movies are among my favorite action movies of all time. Memorable characters, solid action, and great stories are what made these movies wonderful. The use of practical effects also made this movie great as well.

News of the casting of Megan Fox as April O'Neil is the first sign of trouble for the remake of this beloved franchise. I have a hard time believing that she will be able to convincingly play a tough news reported. She seems more like a slutty seductress than a news reporter. If this is the first sign of things to come, I am terrified of the possibilities. With our luck, Martin Lawrence will be playing Splinter and Peter Stormare will be hamming it up as Shredder. Hopefully there will be no randomly exploding pizzas or CG Ninja Turtles.

Someone really needs to punch Bay in the face as a hard as humanly possible and knock some fucking sense into him. His movie with The Rock and Mark Wahlberg looks decent enough but it is most likely going to be a complete dud. His last "good" movie was The Island and that was mainly due to the nature of the high concept script and solid acting. The Transformers movies, excluding the first, are horrible excuses of movies and Bay really needs to start learning that he does not need to keep overusing CG effects. I would now like to congratulate Mr. Bay for being our first Dummy of the Week.